http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbAp5nphTz4
And you make the best fried chicken
I got a hopeless golf game
I love the sound of your name
I might miss that old green ‘Nova
But I love watchin’ you do yoga
I’d take a gold band on my hand
Over being a single man
Cause honestly I don’t know what I’d do
If I’d never met a woman like you."
Is that not the sweetest thing you have ever heard? Like I'm in love with this song because I think it is so honest and playful and sweet. The message of anything you have to give up being completely worth it really strikes me. I would die to have some guy sing that to me and mean it.
See love isn't something I am comfortable with at all. I frankly just don't really understand it. Now don't take that as I don't love people. If anything, I love people to a fault. Like if I get to a point in a relationship with someone that I love them I'm all in forever. My friends and family are my world and there is nothing I wouldn't do for them and I think of them all the time. I just don't rally feel like someone other people can love. Not because I'm self deprecating I know how I am and what I deserve I just still can't grasp it. Maybe it's the whole daddy issues thing because I am kind of uncomfortable with real love from a male figure, especially an unconditional kind. "Love? I have never even heard of it. Even the sound of it offends me." –Peter Pan. As childish as that sounds really portrays my view on love. I don't really understand it so I mock it because it makes me uncomfortable. I've never wanted to be in a couple where it's all touchy feely and gross but I do really want someone to give me "that look", the one of complete adoration and respect one day.
The hardest part of Christianity for me is ultimately accepting that a power so strong and wise would ever desire me and love me as a child. Like since when am I not just that person people use when it is convenient? The fact that God pursues me constantly and wants to spend eternity with me blows my mind. It makes me want to work harder to deserve it. There is an amazing quote:
"Popular culture tells us: Find the right person and fall in love.
God tells us: become the right person and walk in love."
As I go into yet another new chapter of my life my main goal is to constantly work and strive to be that better person. He has made a good work in me and as long as I dedicate my life to sticking as close to his plan as possible he will provide everything I need. I'm starting now to think about and pray for the person I believe God has waiting for me and I am excited to learn to walk always in love with God so I will be more prepared for other types of love in the future.
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